Awkward Owl
PSYCHOTHERAPY
Brittany Dagenais
Registered Psychotherapist
I believe that a different therapy must be constructed for each patient because each has a unique story
- Irvin D. Yalom
What can I expect when I start therapy?
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What can I expect from my first session?
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How many sessions does it usually take to feel better?
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What do we actually DO in session?
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How can I get the most out of therapy?
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What if I feel that this isn't working?
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External Resources
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What can I expect when I start therapy? (things I wish clients knew)
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Being vulnerable will likely feel great and wildly uncomfortable at the same time
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It can be really emotionally draining/exhausting and you may need time after therapy to decompress or nap
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There are likely more cans of worms for us to open than you expect
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Not every session has an "aha" moment; sometimes sessions are about laying the groundwork before you have a breakthrough or taking a breather after a breakthrough.
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You may not feel better for a while, and that's normal. The hope though, is that you feel safe, accepted, and respected right away. That helps us do the work of feeling better- but also, what even is "better"?!
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I will continue to process and reflect after our session and I hope you do the same. Some things can't be seen clearly until we step away from our dynamic and reflect.
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There is a time and place for venting and sometimes we need to give it space. But chronic venting is a relational experience of talking-at not talking-with and I will point that out if it becomes a pattern.
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Coping skills start first and foremost with connection. Healthy connection to self leads to healthy coping.
What can I expect from my first session?
The first session is about starting to get to know you and setting a plan for working together.
This means not only getting to know what is going on with you but starting to observe how you react to emotional content, what beliefs you hold about your experiences, how you interact with the dynamic of therapy, what your body language communicates.
Creating a plan for working together means identifying the primary concern you would like to address and gauging your readiness to approach this concern. It also means discussing possible perspectives and interventions we can draw from in our work together and being candid about expectations of each other as we move forward.
How many sessions does it usually take to feel better?
It depends! There are so many factors that go into this, such as whether this is a longstanding concern or a situational concern, but in general, this style of therapy is a little slower. Clients usually work with me for 10 – 20+ sessions and over a period of 6 – 12 months.
What do we actually DO in session?
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This is a great question because therapy can feel like this weird intangible thing sometimes, especially because change can happen slowly and in small ways. Each therapy session, in subtle or overt ways, we are co-creating corrective emotional experiences for the client and the therapist is facilitating - through questions, observations, and alternative perspectives - greater self-awareness and capacity for choice in thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
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We can feel that we have "done the work" in session if you leave feeling that you were understood, validated, and gently challenged through feeling emotions and reflecting on things you've never considered before. Sometimes "doing the work" is quite uncomfortable, and leaving sessions feeling drained or a little raw is fairly normal.
How can I get the most out of therapy?
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Come to each session knowing what you want to talk about, whether that is something new or a continuation of what we were working on last session.
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Say no when you want to say no. You are never obligated to share something you don’t want to/feel ready to share and I really appreciate when clients set boundaries in session!
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If you want or need something in any given session, please ask! It’s great practice in identifying, communicating, and taking up space for your needs.
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If something isn’t working, you feel upset or bothered by something that was said, or you have been misunderstood, openly addressing this can be incredibly therapeutic and often illuminates a dynamic issue or alternative perspective that we couldn’t have seen otherwise. Therapy needs to always be a safe space for feedback
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Understand that because therapy is a transactional relationship, both client and therapist need to hold space for both professional boundaries and connective humanness within the dynamic. Just because it's a transactional relationship though, it doesn't mean that it is any less real; clients are paying for our time, not for our care. Care is freely given and extends far beyond the 60 minute session.
What if I feel like this isn't working?
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This happens! Sometimes we aren't a good fit working together, sometimes it's not a great time in your life to be diving in to this type of work, and sometimes therapy isn't actually what you need. All of this is okay, and I encourage you to advocate for what you need for yourself and search for a better fit, hit pause, or consider other types of supports. I'm always happy to discuss this with you and help in whatever way I can.